Wednesday, September 1, 2010: No Matter What

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I have always loved this verse. Whenever I was unsure about my future it would comfort me and remind me not to worry, that God has it all under control and He will guide me in the right direction.

As I was reading this verse the other day I "heard" it in a completely different way. And to be honest, it scared me. God is asking us to trust Him ~ not just "yes God, I trust you" but "I trust you completely - not just in some areas of my life - but in every area of my life" . And that's not all. He asks us to trust Him with all of our heart. Not just some - all of it.

And then there is the "lean not on your own understanding". This past weekend reality smacked me right between the eyes. I have cancer. Statistically speaking I will not survive this cancer. You would think after dealing with this for almost four years now it wouldn't hit me as such a shock. But it does. When this happens I try to take control of my life. I beg, plead and rationalize with God about what I want to happen. This time He reminded me "lean not on your own understanding".

My response was that I want to understand ~ help me to understand ~ why??? Deep down I already knew the answer. I'm not supposed to understand. There are some things in this life that we will never understand. That is why the verse starts by asking us to trust Him with all our heart ~ because He knows that our small earthly minds are not able to comprehend His plans for us.

For the past couple weeks the song No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts has been going through my head ~ especially the chorus ~

No matter what, I’m gonna love You ~ no matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not ~ I’ll trust You ~ no matter what.

That sums it all up for me. I may not always understand or even agree with the plans God has for me, but I will love Him, need Him and trust Him. No matter what.